“Man was created. After Hashem completed each of His creations, He said, “it is good.” After He created man however, He said “it is not good (for man to be alone).” Only after woman was created was it good. “
Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em!
Marriage and the relationship a woman has with a man is one of the most rewarding, and yet probably the most difficult thing we will ever do. The Torah refers to woman as “eitzer k’negdo”, literally a “helper opposite/against him”. As the old adage says: “opposites attract”, and it appears that that is the way G-d intended it to be!
Unlike the animal kingdom which was created separately male and female, humans were created as one male/female body which was later separated to become two bodies. We are an intrinsic part of each other and cannot be complete on our own. This is the purpose of marriage. The goal of marriage is for a husband and wife to complete each other and become a united, more perfect being. Marriage is a divine institution. It is G-d’s way of reunited two halves of a whole. “And the two shall become one flesh”…………one body, one mind, one heart and one soul.
But this can happen only when the two are united in their desire to serve G-d. The Hebrew name for man and woman, ish and isha, are almost identical. Each contains an aleph and a shin, yet each has one extra letter, yud in ish, and hey in isha. Together these extra letters spell “Yah”, a shortened, poetic version of the four letter Name of G-d. So together man and woman (ish and isha) proclaim the One, true G-d. But, when the Name of G-d is taken out of the relationship, they are left with only aleph and shin, which spells fire. Without G-d in a marriage relationship, all that is left is fire. And not just any fire, but fire + fire, the fire of destruction.
Life isn’t easy. Marriage isn’t easy. Relationships of any kind aren’t easy. Nor were they designed to be. But we can not only survive, but thrive in our life and in our relationships, if we are willing to allow G-d to play the central role. We were created male and female, with all of our uniqueness’, two imperfect parts. But we are two imperfect parts that have the potential to become a perfect whole, if we will but allow G-d to play the central role in our relationship.
My prayer is that those of you who are married, will find encouragement in knowing that no matter how difficult it may seem at times, if you will remain focused on G-d and allow Him a leading role in your marriage, it will be the most rewarding relationship humanly possible. If you are not yet married, I pray you will find your other half easily and quickly, and that you enter into the relationship with a mutual desire to allow G-d to play the central role in your marriage.
Be blessed and be a blessing,